Walking With My Gram

Gram at my parents 40th Anniversary party in 2006

Here we are again for a walk down memory lane together. I must admit that I struggle to come up with what to share, but God always manages to bring my mind or eyes to just the right thing. So today, God had my eyes rest on my picture of my Gram. I am named after both my grandmothers. (Jane and Anna hence the Jane Ann) This Gram is the Jane portion of my name. She is my mom's mom. I did not grow up following her around the house. She was not the over the top kind of grandma but when my grandpa died when I was 10, I soon learned what kind of woman she truly was. I think God knew we would never have seen her standing in Grandpa's shadow if he did not take him early. So my memories of her really stand out from 10 to now...well just about as close to 40 as you can get. :0) Gram (Jane Carley) , my niece (Carley Jane) and Jane Ann(me) 2005

My gram went to be with her Jesus two years ago in February. The past two years have been the hardest emotionally and spiritually for me that I can recall in recent years. My gram was my cheerleader, counselor and friend. So today, I thought it fitting to honor her by posting the letter I wrote for her funeral. This was a collaboration of ideas from my brother, sister and I. We all think of her often and feel blessed to have been loved by this woman.

Thanksgiving 2006 Gram with her 8 great-grandchildren

It is always hard to say good bye and that was true for Gram as well. When we would visit her, she would always stop what she was doing to give us her undivided attention. There was no time for bridge or club when we were there. But when we would leave, no matter how long we had stayed, she always asked us if we could stay a little bit longer. She just hated to say good bye. Her fight in the hospital was no different. She saw her great-grandkids, gave them kisses and told them she loved them, told her precious daughter how much she would miss her and we never heard her sweet voice again. That was Tuesday (valentine's day 2007) , but Gram hated to say goodbye and she wanted to stay just a little bit longer as she always liked us to do. So she did. (slipped away in her sleep February 18th)

Visiting Gram in the nursing home. 2006

We pray that as parents we will make sure to hold on to that gift of time she gave to us. As a child she gave us her attention and laughter. As teens she gave us acceptance, encouragement and a listening ear. As a young parents, she gave us wisdom and strength as we would talk through the daily events of our lives with her. She always had time to hear our hearts and not just the words. When we walked in that room, no matter how old we were, she beamed and stopped what she was doing to focus on us. We pray that we will carry that away with us. For nothing makes a young child, teenager or busy parent feel more valued and loved than to know someone is listening to your every word and you are so important that they will stop everything to make sure they don't miss a word. That is how we felt with our Gram. She loved us unconditionally. No matter how long it had been since we last saw her, she just welcomed us in and asked us to tell her what was going on in our life. As a child, she let us stay with her for weeks in the summer and doted on us that entire time. How many Grandma's do you know that will ride roller coasters or go to ball games with their grandchildren? Ours did! And we always had to catch a movie, get ice cream and play a game of putt putt before we could leave. She was the putt putt queen!

Christmas 2006

As a teen, she seemed to understand our frustrations in life or at least knew they would pass and we would come out on the other side a better person. She did not judge our choices but listened to us and welcomed us into her home at all times. She even welcomed our friends. Jane Ann remembers in college she and three of her roommates drove to Gram's apartment in Highland and stayed with her for the weekend. They went shopping and ate out but most of all they were just hanging out with Gram. How cool is that!! And Emily and Jane Ann as college students went to visit her for Spring Break. We all took our families to visit her in Florida as well. We had a blast hanging out with her buddies. She made us laugh so much and they all were great about making us feel welcome. Those ladies were so important to her and we are so thankful for each of them being such a big part of her life. They made her time in Florida so precious by becoming her adopted family.

How I miss these moments of talking with her.

When Gram returned to Indiana, we were so excited to have time for her to get to really know our families and to be able to spoil her the way she had done for our entire lives. We know we may not have done all we desired or even all she desired but what we do know is that we had so many long talks about life and we know our gram. We know what she likes, what songs she enjoys, what foods she loved, and her precious thoughts on our grandpa, uncle and mom. We got to know the heart of the woman who had listened to ours for all these years. For that we are grateful. We are so happy to know she is where she wants to be today. She is no longer in pain and is rejoicing in heaven with new eyes to see her savior , new ears to hear the singing angels and new legs to carry her to worship her God. What a joy that must be. While we will miss her talks so much that we can't put it into words, we know that she is where she wants to be and that all she wants of us is to love each other well. So, we will stop the busyness of life and pick up our children and listen to their stories while we are thinking of her. Thank you for loving us well. We will miss you Gram.

My mom and Gram on Gram's 89th birthday, January 2007