Happily Married

KatyLin at the Great Adventure hosts "my husband rocks" every Friday. Sometimes she has prompts and sometimes it is open forum. This weeks question is:

"What makes a happy marriage?"

Truly that question will bring a variety of answers as we all know that what makes one marriage "happy" is not necessarily what will make another. With that awareness, I will write on what makes our marriage happy and trust that the readers understand what works in our home may not work in yours.

I think the first thing that pops into my head would be that God makes a happy marriage. If you have not put God as the center of your marriage, you will struggle to survive. Scripture states:

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

That cord of three should always be God, husband and wife. When either of you steps out of that cord, there will be "discord". (sorry for the word silliness there, but you know what I mean)

Matt and I have a beautiful marriage but truly have had to work to get there. Some days it is so easy and others we have to make a choice to act the way we should and not the way we feel. I think the second thought that comes to my mind as to what makes a happy marriage is choice. When you make the commitment to marry someone, it is a choice to fulfill that commitment. It is not a feeling. Sure, there are those moments were you are swept away with the feelings that come when your man grabs your hand or gently touches the small of your back as he guides you through a room. However, that feeling can not withstand trials. Choosing to love in spite of circumstances is a gift from God. I do not have to enjoy everything my husband does, and I don't. I do not have to agree with everything my husband feels, and I don't. I do have to honor the commitment I made to him 17+ years ago before our Heavenly Father. I do have to honor him as the head of this home and I do have to choose to show respect even when I don't "feel" like it. Choosing to love during the unlovable times is truly what brings such depth to a marriage.

I know that my Matt loves me. I always did but until we stood together through lives trials and had to watch each other struggle in heart wrenching ways, we did not know what our marriage was made of. I know we stood before a group of friends and family quoting our vows with all sincerity. We meant every word. Yet, truly we had no idea what we were saying. We had no idea what God had planned for our journey together. Once we hit our first big road bump in our marriage, which for us was infertility, we had to look at each other and decide, will this break us or will we break it? We chose to fight it and grow closer together. When we had a huge marital issue arise after all the baby turmoil, we had a choice to follow man's way or dig our heels in even deeper and fight for what we committed to before God. Praise God I can say that we dug our heels in so deep that satan had no idea what hit him. We chose to fight. We choose to fight for our marriage everyday and that is a choice I am so thankful we both make together.

Lastly, I suppose what makes our marriage happy is laughter and friendship. We are good friends. I can't wait to talk to Matt everyday to see how things went at the office or at his Bible study. He is interested in what I have to say and desires to see me grow as a mom and wife. We encourage each other to follow our passions. We seek to please each other before pleasing ourselves in this area. As for the laughter, truly, that is the glue for us. The man has made me laugh since the day we first talked on the phone and I know we will continue to laugh for many years together. Finding joy in life together is a must. Enjoy your time together and laugh! Life is way too short to get all bent over how the toothepaste tube looks or where someones socks are left. Serve each other, laugh, seek God, choose to love and you will see an amazing happily married couple. (or at least in our home)

17 Years Happily Married and counting......

Footnote:I must be honest. I really do struggle when I hear of Christian couples who split over not being "happy". That word drives me nuts. God did not put us on earth to be happy but to serve and worship HIM. If our focus is always on our feelings and not on serving God through the relationships, jobs, etc He places us into, then we will never find true joy that only comes from serving God. I will now step off my soap box and stop typing. :) Sorry!