Right now, I am in a transition phase in my life. I've been a homeschool mom for 11 years. I've been a stay home mom for 17 of our 23 married years. As we are planning out our girls next year of schooling, changes are occurring that will drastically alter this season of my life. I have so many thoughts daily about these changes. On one hand, I am so excited for my girls and I am eager to see how God blesses them and our family with these changes. On the other hand, I have great fear of the unknown. How will they handle the changes? What if we made the wrong choice? How will they do?
The changes being made will mean I am no longer the lead teacher for our girls daily. It means, I am outsourcing my job or I've worked myself out of a job. I don't know what I feel about this yet. Again, I have daily differing opinions of what I feel. One day, I am so happy to see this part of my life lay down and ready to pick up the next part with gusto. The next day, I am so sad it's ending. I have loved being home with my girls, schooling them. I find great joy in that job most the time. Sure, there are days I would beg my husband to switch me jobs, but ultimately I deeply love my 'job" of mom and teacher to these precious jewels. How do you go from being with them daily to seeing them only in the evenings/weekends? How do you fill your days? Is it time for me to get a job again? What in the world would I do? Who in the world would hire a teacher who hasn't taught in the classroom for 17 years?! All of these thoughts run through my mind.
Then I hear that still calm voice, my sweet Jesus, reminding me to breathe. His peace sweeps over me like a fall breeze rustling the trees. I am instantly reminded that God is in control, I am not to fear and I can rest in His perfect timing. Not only did He create these girls for His glory, He loves them more than I do and He will go before them and prepare a way for them. Where I am not, He is. And for me to know that He will also prepare a way for me. He does not make mistakes. This season of my life is by no mistake. God has orchestrated circumstances to fall into place for this season to feel peaceful and blessed. So then, why do I struggle to let go. I'm not always happy to see the seasons change in the year nor in my life, but with accepting it, I learn to trust God's perfect timing and planning for my life.