God's Perfect Timing

Last night we experienced one of those precious times as parents which we all cherish. Doodle and I had a strange experience earlier in the day which we were explaining to Matt. It involved someone we adore asking some questions about the girls' birth parents in front of them. The look on Doodle's face as it was happening put me into protective mommy mode and I must have had a shocked look on my face as well because the person asked if that was too personal. I bowed out gracefully with a simple yes. She felt awkward and there were a few more things said but truly I think the questions come from lack of understanding adoption and the adoptive family.

No child wants to be asked these questions in public ever. No adoptive mom wants to hear someone ask her if they know about their child's "parents". My response to that was and will always be, "Yes, since I am her mom I know her parents very well." Regardless sharing this event with Matt brought up some great topics to talk about....the day we learned we were expecting and the first time we held each of our girls. Along with those memories came the amazing way God gave peace to each of their birth mothers as well as their parents in knowing these girls were meant to be in our home.

With their permission, I share how God's perfect timing is worth the wait. The details of their birth mothers will not be shared as that is their own story to tell one day but the part that is ours I can share. :)

Matt and I had been married for 4 years when we knew there was something wrong with shall we call it the "baby-making machine". ;) Anyway, we went to see specialists and never experienced a pregnancy at all. We were heartsick to find out that the only way we could become parents biologically was to go through some very risky procedures which would take all our money with no guarantee a child would be the end result. That made no sense to us and we felt no peace with that choice. Our choices in the medical ring lead us to that decision to walk into Bethany Christian Services in early 1997.

We went to the first meeting for potential adoptive parents in May. We then left with all our paperwork, to go on a family vacation with Matt's family. We were doing the paperwork shuffle on this vacation. When we returned, we turned in what was done but still did not have everything complete. One Sunday, we were sitting at home after church and our phone began ringing off the hook. We had 6 people call us from church. Each of these people were telling us about the same situation with our oldest being the result. :) They were sure we needed to meet with this birth mother and answer her prayers as well as ours. So the final call was a minister who asked if she could call us. we agreed and she called ten minutes later. This precious woman gave us peace right away. Her questions were amazing and humbled both of us. They were not what we would have thought at all. At the end of that 45 minute conversation, she told us she knew she wanted us to be the parents of her baby girl. A baby girl!!! As we hung up the phone, we both hit our knees and cried out to our God in prayer and just joy.

We didn't know or truly it didn't make a difference if it was a boy or girl, but to hear that made my heart soar. We were finally going to bring our baby girl home. We had a name already picked out and we began praying for her as well as her birth mother. After a few more calls, a lot of paperwork and shopping galore, we were ready for our new baby. One day, her birth mother called after an appointment to share her fears with me. As we talked, I asked her if she wanted to know what we were naming the baby. This is where God answered both our prayers at the same time. You see, one of my fears was that one day when and if my girls ever desired to go back and connect with their birth families that I wanted them to always be known as the names they knew their entire life not the names someone else gave them when they were with them and then different with us. So, I shared the name and at first there was silence. Then I heard tears and a quiet voice..."who told you?" I didn't understand. "Who told me what?" was all I could ask at that moment. "Those are my girls names."

You see, in that moment, God showed me that He cared about even the silliest request of a mom to give me the gift of my baby girl having the name we chose for her on her original and adoptive birth certificate. At that same moment, our amazing God gave this precious woman the gift of peace. That name gave her the peace to know she was making the right choice and our home was the place God wanted this baby girl. Exactly ten weeks from the first time we walked into the adoption agency, we were going to the hospital to meet our baby girl and her birth mother in person. We loved them both and prayed for them both but that meeting is forever etched in our mind. I will never forget watching my husband hold his baby girl that first time. The tears of joy still flow as he told his girl about it last night. There is no words to describe that feeling of holding a child that did not come from your body yet you know it was meant to be yours. It is like a song we use to listen to describes,'we didn't know you could miss someone you never met. Yet when we saw her the first time, we felt we were finally completed as a family. She was finally home. That moment was worth the seven year wait. God knew that what He had planned was far superior to our prayer requests and He certainly blew us away.Daddy and Doodle hanging out together.

Two and a half years later, we decide it is time to put our name in again. So we went around letting family know this is the time and to not expect it to happen so fast again. We knew that was a gift from God last time but also fully understand that this doesn't happen like that all the time. The norm is to wait 9-12 months. So we started the paperwork in June. We began preparing the nursery again. Then I took off to Florida with my mom to visit my grandma while she had spinal surgery.

Matt received a phone call at work that he still tears up over today. Although we had not finished all the paperwork yet again, they had put our information in the file the birth mothers look through to choose parents for their baby. We had been selected again and the birth mother wanted to meet with us. She also was only 8 weeks from her delivery date!! What?! That can't be possible! So, we made tons of calls and finished what was needed with the paperwork. I started praying for another girl because I wanted Doodle to have that special sister bond that I had with mine. I didn't share that with anyone but God and knew it would not matter either way just one of those things.

Then came the day we drove up to meet the birth mother. This time, it was face to face. We did not experience that with our older daughter until after the birth. This was new. We prayed so hard that we would say the right things and that no matter what we would shine for Him in this meeting. We were taken back by how sweet this young girl was and truly how much she looked like me! It was scary! She asked such special questions that would give her the peace she needed as well. She then told us that she was having a girl. What?! Only God could answer that prayer. I was delighted that my Doodle would have a sister soon. Then we went home and waited.

The Miller Girls

We heard she did choose us officially. A couple weeks later, her birth mother went into early delivery. We were called to the hospital to hold the baby if we wanted but the papers had not been signed yet. After praying about it, Matt and I took Doodle to his sister then we headed to the hospital to hold this baby that might never come home with us. We had to decide to put this baby's need of touch and bonding ahead of our own need to know she is ours.

As we walked into the room, we saw her the first time, the same feeling we had when we held Doodle swept over us. I looked up and saw my man weeping again. Then the social worker came in and said that the birth mother wanted to see just me. Oh no! Had she changed her mind? I walked down that hospital hallway praying and shaking as I entered the room. There sat this young woman and a friend. She wanted to tell me about a dream she had been having that had given her peace in knowing her baby was to be ours. This dream was so precious. I sat there and listened. I was then able to thank her in person for giving us the gift we could not give each other, the gift of parenthood. We hugged and then I asked her if she wanted to know the name we would be giving her baby as well. She did and with the name came the tears. She loved it and wanted to use it on the birth certificate. Again, God met her need for peace before she signed that paperwork and for me grace for my simple hearts' desire.Bean and Mommy goofing off.

We brought home our second baby girl six weeks from the time we first met with the agency. Only God could make that happen twice! We knew that He wanted these two girls to be in our home but also together. He answered private requests all along the way. There is no doubt that we were meant to be their parents and there was peace in that decision with each birth mother before they signed the paperwork to make that official. We have never felt slighted in not giving birth to these girls. We feel that their stories are so amazing they will never doubt God's hand and his perfect timing in all of it. We serve a mighty God who is full of great surprises. I know one thing we have learned through both of our adoptions, don't put God in a box! If you tell everyone "it won't happen like this twice', God will meet that doubt with a great booming, "WATCH ME!" :) We also have learned to have the nursery ready before we go for the first meeting.

Seriously though, we ended our night discussing these two stories of how God provided just what was needed at that time and that these two girls should have confidence in knowing God placed them in our home at just the right time. Everything fell into place just right once it was meant to be. Watching Matt tell parts of their stories and tear up, gave each of them a sweet glance into his heart. There is no doubt in their minds today that we are their parents and they were so wanted, prayed for and loved by all the adults involved in the beautiful way God brought them to us. What sweet moments to relish. Another time I will have to tell you the way God's perfect timing brought us our girls from Romania, but I think this post is too long already! ;-)The Miller Family