Purity Pressure

It is that time in our house to have mother/daughter weekend getaway and go through the Passport to Purity package. As I have been going through the kit, I realize I may be under prepared for this task. I have been excited for years at the thought of taking time with each of my girls, one on one, to truly dig into scripture as we discuss just how God created their bodies as well as how He intended their bodies to be one with their husbands.

I feel a lot of pressure, which I put on myself, that if I don't "do" this right they will not realize what a joy it is to wait and be blessed in this area with their spouse or they will never truly be able to allow themselves to enjoy sex as a husband and wife should! It's a good thing...within marriage! Then I realize this is not the first time I have struggled with pressure to share my heart with them about his topic. This time, I am just telling more details and peeling off one more layer to the onion topic.

My husband and I have started praying about this weekend and I know Doodle is going to be overwhelmed as she really has no desire to learn about any of it as of yet. Boys still are just her friends and kissing on any movie or between her Dad and me grosses her out! Thank you, Jesus! :) She likes being protected. She does not want to look like the other teens around and I am thankful for that. However, I also don't want to give her the idea that sex is bad and only for making babies!

Let's face it, God gave us a beautiful gift to ENJOY with in the boundaries of marriage. So, when we talk about this topic this weekend, I need to find the words to explain that it is a beautiful gift that is worth the wait. It is meant to enjoy, within marriage and that keeping that part of your heart and body pure for your husband will bless your marriage. Yeah, I know...no pressure!!! First of all, I am struggling to look at my little girl and realize she will one day be sexually involved with anyone! That is just the momma and I am sure my mom would say she still feels that way, but we move past that and prepare our girl.

One decision we have made for this time, we are not going to ask her to sign the purity contract at age 13. We are going to get her a little ring and present her with that but to sign something when you don't fully understand what you are saying is really setting her up to fail in our opinion. So what we want to do is continue these talks and maybe do the signing ceremony when she is 16 with then a much nicer ring as well. We'll see how it all goes. Pray for me if you think of it and for Doodle! :)

Menu Plan Monday!

We are definitely trying to get back into the swing of things around here. It feels like it is taking longer than normal to figure out our weekly schedule since school started back up as well as the activities! I feel very scattered still and am finding schedules bring the peace back into my life....see, I am more like Doodle than I realized! That girl is a scheduling queen in the making!

So, I am planning our week ahead with great excitement as Doodle and I will be heading out for our first Mom/Daughter weekend. This is going to be an extremely special time together and it all starts with us getting to see Mary Poppins on stage! So exciting!!!! Here is the plan:

Monday: (BSF for Matt and girls) sandwiches on road

Tuesday: (History Club, Dance) Stove Top Chicken Casserole

Wednesday: (Nothing!!!) Crouton Chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans

Thursday: (Dance, Mary Poppins for Doodle and me) doodle and I eat on way, Matt and Bean eat at home

Friday: veggie soup, cottage cheese and bread

Saturday: leftovers

Sunday: Baked Potato Soup, hot sandwiches

OK God, I'm listening. :)

Do you ever have times in your life where you have heard God's whisper and chose not to reply only to be greeted with His ever present 2x4 upon the head?! I am really hearing God's calling me into an area of service with girls and it scares me to death!!! I have felt this for years and chose to ignore it. Now, God is screaming at me. I can't ignore it any longer and I need to be obedient...no matter how petrified I truly feel. I will keep you posted!

Wednesday's Walk Returns!!!!

What a blessing to be back to walking down memory lane again! I go through phases where I just don't have the time each week to post, but these are always my favorites since I am such a sap. This week is easy to choose what to write about...BSF (Bible Study Fellowship).

For 11 years, I attended BSF. First alone at the evening class. Then I took one year off when we adopted Doodle. Then I took Doodle and my nephew once she was 2. Each year, I added another daughter, niece or nephew to the mix as they turned 2. They were able to go with us until they were entering 1st grade. So, some years I only had two kids. Other years I had four following behind from ages 2-6. I loved making my little train of kiddos as we traveled from the parking lot to the church. The older kids, now 13-14, giggle about the silly songs I sang to keep all the kids safe at that time.

"Keep your hands on the van, on the van.

Keep your hands on the van, on the van."

My husband makes me laugh when he says I was training them to be on COPS tv show since they would hold their hands on the van as they sang that song! Ha! It was the only way I knew to keep them all safe until I got all of them out, coats and bags collected and then walk into the church. It worked!

My little BSF buddies 2004~ S-man, Bean and C

For three years, I was even blessed to be able to have my grandma join us on this little train journey. I am sure we were a joy to watch as my Gram would start the train with her walker, then the middle aged kiddo holding on to her walker, each child then holding the hand of the one in front until I was the caboose. It was so funny to hear them each week sounding off,"Choo Choo!". Cracks me up thinking about it even now. You would think they would get sick of it over time.

I have taken four years off BSF to focus on homeschooling the girls. Now that they are 13 and 10, they are very capable to do some work without me standing over them. So with the new study of Isaiah.... I was eager to jump back in with both feet. ;) Today I did something I have never done....I drove my van to BSF without singing the, "We're on the way, we're on the way, on the way to Bible School" song, yet I heard 6 little voices singing it in my head. (all the kids I have taken over the years) I walked straight into the sanctuary without stopping by the children's wing, which felt so odd yet good. Change is good.

I must tell you that sitting in that sanctuary was an odd feeling at first. The last time I attended BSF I was with my Gram. She since has passed away. She use to sit next to me, grabbing my notes to see what she missed or letting me (as well as those around us) that she couldn't hear. :) Oh, the memories I have of these precious days together. There were days I recall thinking that it was not worth all the hassle to get there. But now, looking back....I can't imagine doing it any other way. These 8 cousins have been rooted in God's Word in a way that I can't even imagine how it will impress their lives now or in the future. I never had that opportunity to dig into God's Word at this level when I was their ages. Not only did I start back this week, but all 8 cousins are still attending BSF, but now they go with my husband, their Nana or their Poppy to the evening classes. It's an amazing legacy of learning to dig deep and seek God and I am thrilled to have had such sweet moments with my girls as well as some of their cousins.

Menu Plan Monday Returns!

Actually, I don't think it ever really left in the cyber world. But it did disappear for a bit from my blog. In getting back to my scheduled lifestyle, I realize that having this written down helped me a ton. :) So it is back. This week, we start Bible Study Fellowship so things will be busy but good. So here is the plan for this week:

Monday: (BSF night for girls and Matt) They eat on road, I eat at home

Tuesday: (history club/dance) Mexican chicken, rice, salad

Wednesday: Ham, potato, cheese casserole, broccoli, fruit salad

Thursday: (dance then lake house) pizza

Friday: Stir fry and rice

Saturday: Chili with ground turkey

Sunday: potato soup, fresh bread/butter, berry pie

On My Mind

Lately I have been thinking a lot of our girls in Romania. We have not had the chance to talk to them in quite a while and I just miss their voices...although I am not sure the last time I heard them. :( What brought some of this on was the fact that our phone company just switched our voice mail and in doing so they managed to erase all my saved messages which were of our girls calling home from Romania. I know it is silly, but to get to hear them every so often felt like they were not so far away. So, today I am emailing them again and praying to get a response. I know they are busy with college and work not to mention V is now married! So there is so much going on in their world. I just know I will never forget the time that we spent with them in their country as well as when V stayed in our home when touring with the choir. Precious Memories!

I Did It!

I have to tell you that I use to be an avid reader when I get the chance to do so, I still am. With homeschooling our girls, I tend to read about the topics we are studying, parenting books and of course my Bible. :) I have not been able to read a book for pleasure in a couple years. I start them and they just sit. I hate that so much being that I really do LOVE getting lost in a good book. Now don't get me wrong, I read all the time. It is just not for my own enjoyment right now. It always has to do with school, parenting or faith: all of which I adore! :)

So I decided to make myself finish a book...take time to savor those things I enjoy. I started it about 5 days ago and finished it last night. I soooo enjoyed getting lost in this book and am thinking I need to make this happen more often. I did not miss out on anything with the family and I was a happier momma just for taking some time to do what I enjoy. Makes me wonder what else I need to plug back into my schedule as we continue to tweak it! What do you need to plug back in to your schedule?

At last!!!

Do you have times where you are so swamped with kids activities that it takes away from your own social time? I don't mean that in a nasty way at all. I just mean that we have been on the go for so long that I have not had a chance to scrapbook with my friends since last November! Add to that, I have not seen some of my dear friends since June! I mean, come on! Momma needs a little giggle time with the girls. I do fine not having daily interaction with my buds as long as we get to speak through facebook, email or text from time to time. I know their life is just like mine. It is not that we are intentionally not spending time together at all. It is a choice we make to live the lifestyle we choose to live and most of the time it is not at all a feeling of sacrifice. Lately though,I have really been missing my friends.

So the good news is that I finally have a date on the calendar to visit two dear friends pretty soon! Woohoo! Tomorrow we are headed to visit our buddies the Stumpf's which is always a great day! :) In October, we are headed up to visit our buddies the Perkins for a girls weekend since both dads will be out of town. Add to that my great gift of seeing my buddies that live closer at co-op, church and the like and I am starting to feel a bit more "social". I am one of those funny women who can be alone for great lengths of time but when that feeling hits...boy do I need my friends! I get my giggle up and then I am good for a bit again. :) Gotta love that feeling.

Another area I am so excited about....BSF!! Bible Study Fellowship has been a part of our life for 14 years. I attended with our girls and took many of the cousins throughout the years until Bean started 1st grade. At that point, she was too old to attend day time and started attending with Daddy and Rachel at night. They still do that. I have missed those studies so much. I have missed their structure. I have missed the discussions, songs, all of it really. So good news is that I get to go back now that the girls are older. So I will be attending BSF again but for the first time ever, it will be alone. Weird! I do have friends going but I have never walked in without a child in tow. Seems odd and yet I am so excited to get back into God's Word using this tool.

Can you feel it?

The earth didn't start shaking...nope. The planets did not stop rotating...nope. The animals did not stand still in silence...nope. Yet tonight, in my house, there was a big change....BIG!! I went back to kiss my girls goodnight and do you know what I found? Take a guess!
My youngest reading a book on her bed without being asked!!!

Do you understand the magnitude of this accomplishment? Probably not, but let me say this; while I am joking about it here lovingly, I must say that seeing her on her tummy, feet in the air I was so proud. She has never liked to read books on her own. They do not call to her like they do to her sister and me. She loves to be read to but reading on her own is not a passion. But I see the passion growing for a good story. I am just happy to see that my girl is growing! Big steps in the Miller house tonight...big steps for my Beanie. Now if I can just not blow this new passion by making too big of a deal about it. How do you do the happy dance quietly? Hmmm......

Driving with Dad

Yesterday the girls and I took a road trip with my dad to Shipshewana to exchange a swing he had purchased which was too long for his porch. Dad picked us up about 9:45 and we headed out. The girls brought school on the road, one of our favorite things to do to shake up the schedule. :)

We enjoyed driving and talking as we went. Dad told the girls that he had never driven with me awake so much! I was quite the sleeper in the car as a kid. We would get down the street and I would be out. Use to crack him up how I could wake up just before we got in our driveway. This trip, I did not want to miss out on one moment.

I don't get a lot of time alone with my dad anymore but I still adore it. His opinions mean the world to me and there is something about just sitting and laughing with your dad that makes life seem right. So, while we did not solve any world problems or even family ones, it was a nice day to restore this girls love tank with her dad.

That got me to thinking, isn't that the same with our Heavenly Father? We don't take the time to be with Him as we should, yet when we do....instantly all is well. I am thankful that my dad not only cracks me up and makes me feel special, but loves Jesus as he does and has shown me the way to fill up my eternal love tank!