Supporting my man

Do you ever have moments when you just feel so beat down that you can't breathe? I had one of those today. I don't know who all is reading this so let's just suffice it to say we are experiencing some family issues that do not involve anyone who lives in our home. :) Is that a safe way to put that? I hope so.

Anyway, I so struggle to be "normal" around people who are irritating or rude to my husband even if we are related. I want to make it right or tell them how I feel depending on the situation. I am highly protective in nature. Some situations just never go away: they may seem to but they always find a way to creep back into our conversations. We have one topic that continually comes up every year. Every year for almost 18 years!!! Today I snapped! I just couldn't take it anymore.

I desire to see my husband respected and revered as I feel he should be in his home life, work and everywhere he serves. Yet there are people who refuse to see in him what I see. They refuse to allow him to rise up and be the man in this situation that God intended. As I was venting to my mom and her reminding me of who is in control (thank you!), I realized that I am no different than the people who are not allowing my husband to shine. If I take over making the decision that "now is the time!" to have a talk or to stop the insanity in the situation before he is ready (no matter how long it takes) than I have taken away the leadership of our home. He has no one to stand beside him no matter where he is if I cave and give into that sinful nature. So, I am humbled tonight. I want to scream at the fact that we are still having the same talks for the past 18 years but then I stop to remind myself....18 years or 180 years there is no one I would rather dig through this issue or any other that is thrown our way. I love you sweetie and I am so sorry if I added pain to an already sticky situation. :)