Missing My Buddies

Last night, I sat and wiped away the tears from one of my girls cheeks as she poured her heart out about how much she misses a sweet buddy of hers. This past year, there has been a shift in this buddy's life and that shift has brought about enough changes that my girl and her buddy just don't mesh up like they use to, which is hard no matter how old you are. ;( I wish I could fix this but I can't. I know it has to do with the fact that we homeschool and they do not. They are just sharing life together which is sweet to watch....until I scan the room and see my daughter's face. :( They have no idea how it stings and truly it is not their fault. We have chosen this lifestyle which I never dreamed would get harder as time went on....I mean the choice not the life! Ha! As I reassured her and listened, I started thinking about my own life as well.

Since homeschooling, I have become very introverted and isolated. I usually do fine with that but there are times I see groups of moms out and I think....I miss my friends!!! Then I scan the room and I see their faces....ahh...my girls. The lovely young ladies that assist me daily, teach me how to become a better woman/wife/mom by desiring that for them, the ladies that I would rather spend every second of my day with than out and about with anyone other than their daddy. So the question then becomes....is it worth it?

Is the lifestyle we have chosen for our family worth the heartache it is causing our girls with missing out on activities because they don't go to that school or are not allowed to do that yet? Is it worth it to not have lunch dates with my friends and instead stay home and eat PB&J with my girls singing crazy songs? You bet it is! It is worth every single sacrifice we have made. But this one, the buddy she loves so much, this one is the hardest one I have had to make or asked her to make and yet when asked if she would want it differently.....the answer was no. She does not desire to go to the school they attend nor does she want to do the things they are doing that she is not yet ready for.....she just misses the buddy. Totally understand. One day she will see that the tears she shed last night were not for nothing. This buddy will always cherish their friendship but for now, I wipe away the tears and remind myself that with every choice we make their are consequences that are good and some that sting. Today, this momma is feeling the sting and clinging to the choice we made almost 8 years ago.