A Heart Open to God's Leading

I am just so excited about how God works out every little detail in my life. I have really struggling with some "pre-teen" issues with our oldest daughter. For the past few weeks she has been working through this with us. We have been seeking scriptures on anger, what happens to those who don't deal with their anger, what caution is there to those who are associated with angry people, how should we treat each other...etc. This usually helps her so much and just usually stops the issues at hand. However, this time we started noticing something new....the dreaded "snake-eye". She had started glaring at me in disgust when I was speaking to her about this issue. This seems to be accepted as normal pre-teen girl behavior but I was not comfortable at leaving there. I felt that was setting her up for failure in obeying God's Word to honor her mother and father and truly to just love one another. Trust me...there was no love in that look!

So after discussing it with my husband and praying about it for many days I asked a dear friend for her advice/opinion as she has a daughter a bit older and I knew her heart is the same for how we desire our daughters to be raised. After talking with her, I was reassured in how I had handled the situation and how I would even more so attack the heart issue behind the look . With that said, during that conversation, my daugther was having an issue with her sister, yet again. My husband stepped in to monitor and guide her through her anger. She responded well to him and seemed to shake it off rather quickly. Later, when her sister was occupied, she asked if she could speak to her daddy and me for a minute. I was seriously waiting for something scary to be asked...we worry so much over nothing! Anyway, she sat down in front of us in our living room and proceeded to say words every parent prays to hear and I will never forget.

She said, "Mommy and Daddy, I need to apologize to you for being disrespectful the past few weeks. I didn't like the consequences you decided on for my acting out in anger to my sister and I thought that if I stayed mad at you I would feel better. But today when I let Daddy give me a big hug and I gave him a hug back instead of the "jelly fish" hug...I felt better. I didn't know that I needed a hug to help me get the mad out. I am going to do better at not staying mad at you to try to get back at you for the consequences I deserve. I am sorry that I was rude and I won't do that anymore. I want to honor God. Please forgive me. "

Needless to say, we had a wonderful moment that only a parent and child can have in a time like that. Hugs and words of encouragement followed her apology and she just sparkled for Jesus at that time. Here I have been so full of concern for the past few weeks over her heart issues and all along I needed to stay the course and trust that my God is big enough to work it out in His perfect timing. What perfect timing He has!!! I felt so touched by her heartfelt apology and knew that she meant what she was saying as the tears fell with her words. Those of you who don' t know her might think it is a scam but for those of us who have been blessed to know this child we know this is our girl. Thank you God, for the glimpse into her heart today and for the reassurance in parenting. I think most people think it is easier to just let them go with their attitude and it will "work" itself out. I can tell you from experience, or so I have been told, that attitudes left on their own do not "work themselves out". They get worse!! I am just so humbled by her actions and her awareness of her need to go back and make it right with those she had been giving the ol' snake eye! We have talked for years about the need to confess your sins when they are brought to your attention, then go back and make it right with those you have hurt intentionally or unintentionally, then move forward and don't repeat that same sin. I thank God that message is getting through to her at such a young age and that she will be blessed by that for years to come. I know I am blessed by it now. I am a humbled mommy this morning as I prepare for a wonderful day with my two precious girls. Thank you God for more things than my mind can say at this hour!

A New Outlook

Okay, this is so weird! I had to get up early this morning because we are getting a new roof today. Did I mention...we are getting a new roof today!!! Woohoo! Anyway, the guys were suppose to be here at 7. So I got up at 5 with Matt. He goes to Bible Study Fellowship early on Saturday mornings so this week I joined him. After he left, I got a shower, got dressed and proceeded to clean my bathroom.Then I went out to the kitchen. I made muffins, cleaned the kitchen and do a quick sweep through the living room. This all before 8!! For those who are morning people, you are thinking...So what? But for those who know I am sooooo not a morning person you realize God has blessed me this morning. What a joy it has been to have this time alone working and praying as I go. Why can't I do this more often? I am actually happy to see my little girls' faces appear around the corner instead of the feeling of oh no!! not yet! I usually have. It shows me that I can do this if I choose to and that is just another blog for another day!!

God's Gifts: Big and Small

As some of you know, our house has been in need of a new roof for some time. This is the original roof and let's just say that if we do not replace it this year the neighbors will be taking a vote to vote us off the island! Anyway, we also are in need of a back patio door. So we have been doing some shopping and talking with contractors recently. Just so happens that our next door neighbor has a brother that is a contractor. He came by last night and gave us an estimate of what he will do the job for the roof. God is so good! When he gave the first paper it was most definately too high but it was still cheaper than others. So then he showed us the second paper. This precious man is doing the job for only $165 over the amount the insurance company is paying! Which is just unbelievable. All he asked is that Matt would repay him with some free dental work!!! Something he is more than willing to do. I find it so interesting to see how God works things out. Now we need to see if he can get us the frame for our patio door so we can hang the doors we were given by some wonderful friends of ours. When they moved the contractors put in the wrong doors. So when they took them out, they gave us the doors. We have had trouble finding someone who could purchase the frame and hardware for us. However, we are still praying that God will make that happen so we can use these beautiful doors and let them be a constant reminder of God's provision both big and small!

Bikes, Kites and Giggles

What beautiful weather we had this past weekend! The girls played outside the entire time. I love listening to them play together while I go about my work. They had out the kites desperately trying to get them to fly and finally had some success on Saturday morning. They just squealed with delight. I sat outside and read a book while they rode their bikes on Friday. I realized at that time that both girls were looking like they were riding Shriner's mini-bikes! They had grown so much that they needed new bikes. Well, we needed to get Doodle a new bike so Bean could have her sister's old one. So Saturday we all ventured off ot a bike shop and found a bike for Doodle fairly quickly. I was so happy that we found a reasonably priced bike at this shop ( not an easy task) and that it is her last bike we will need to purchase unless something happens to this one or she just is ready to move on to a different style. She is in an adult bike now. Then we went to get a new basket, bell and streamers for Bean. She and I cleaned up Doodle's old bike added all the pretty new stuff and she could not have been happier. She loved that she was "big enough" to ride her sister's old bike. To her it was better than a new one. I think that is so cool. God has blessed us in many ways and I am most thankful that we have a child who is more excited to ride her sisters old bike made new for her than she is to have a new bike. She will get that next new bike but until she does she could not be more happy. Sunday they girls rode their bikes like crazy. This is Bean's first year to be out on the street. She was so proud riding that new to her bike out on the street. She did a great job of watching for cars and her sister did a tremendous job of letting her know when to turn or stop. They worked together very nicely. Later that night we went out with Grandma and Grandpa for dinner and the girls relayed their bike adventures on to their grandparents. As we returned home the girls were in the back of the SUV and were just making each other giggle so hard that it was contagious. Before long, the entire vehicle was laughing uncontrollably. This is why I stay home with my girls and homeschool them...well one reason anyway. I am able to enjoy all that a day will bring whether that be drying tears, dealing with character issues, or in days like these, getting to enjoy the adventures of my girls with their bikes, kites and listening to the precious sound of their giggles.

Heartsick

I have struggled the past few days in how to put into words my reaction to watching what has happened at Virginia Tech. Heartsick seems to be the best way to discribe where I am right now. It saddens me so much to think of what those children and teachers were put through while sitting in a classroom waiting to know if this madman was going to unleash his wrath on them. What must have been going through their minds at that moment! It is sad to me as well, that the young man who did this compares himself to that of my Jesus!

Jesus never hurt anyone. He never lashed out at innocent children and he certainly was never so selfish that he would have taken this step in his life to ease the pain of his torment. Jesus willingly layed himself out to be beaten, mocked and crucified so that we would no longer have to walk a life seperate from his Father. He showed the way to be humble and submit to God even to death. While that is certainly not a picture of what we saw in Virginia Tech, it is interesting to me that this young man sees them as the same. What happened to this young man to make him so bitter and full of hate? What would it take to cause his judgement to be so clouded that he thought this was the only way out and that he was doing it for other people? What must his parents be going through each morning they awaken and find the nightmare they were having is continuing? No different from the other parents who have lost their precious children except for the fact that their child caused the pain the others are feeling which I am guessing adds a new layer on their own pain.

My heart goes out to the other students who are now struggling to just feel normal again. I am sure they are having nightmares or flashbacks of this situation and the more it is plastered all over the tv I am sure they will continue to struggle with that. Seeing the picture of this young man yesterday really brought me to tears. I pray for his family to find peace in knowing that his actions are not a reflection of them, I pray for the families who have lost children, parents or siblings in this massacre to find a way to honor and celebrate their life instead of focusing on the horrible act that took it. I pray for the university president for I can't imagine a man under more pressure right now. I pray that he will find peace in seeing clearly what needs fixed and also what was out of his hands. I pray for revival on that campus. This was a horrible act and I can't imagine much good coming from it unless you know my God! He is so capable to turning this horrible act to end up being the marker of great things to follow! This campus has the ability to light up for Him by pulling together and hitting their knees in seeking His guidance. What a powerful picture. While I sit and watch to see what will come of all of this, I just pray that I never forget those who need prayers daily to carry them through each moment of each day until they are able to cast their burdens on Jesus. Pray for them to carry them to Him. pray for revival in that campus, in our country! That is the only source of comfort we can find.

Flylay to the Rescue!

For those of you who are not domestically challenged or are Type A personalities, you may not find the same joy in my new saving grace. However, I am really struggling to keep this house in order right now and need someone to guide me through the muck into see the other side. While this comes so easy to others, for me, I get overwhelmed with the clutter and feel like it will never be any better so why bother. I cave to that Eeyore inside me at times. But after praying about, God really knew I needed help above and beyond. I found the website flylady.net and am hooked! You take babysteps in getting rid of the CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome) in your house. I am so excited to jump into this with both feet and know that this is what I need to pull me out of the muddy pit we have put ourselves into since Christmas. A detailed plan and encouragement from someone who has been there before is all I can ask for really. I just think my God is just so awesome that He knew when to let me find this site. I should never be amazed at how much He takes care of every single detail in my life. Even the ones I cause myself....clutter. So, with that, I am off to shine my sink!

Friend, Family and Fond Memories

I was able to get away last night for some much needed time of laughing with my friends while we worked on our scrapbooks. What a joy it is to be with these women. I have great friends who see my flaws and love me anyway. I appreciate their wisdom and words of encouragement as we share our lives together. I can't wait until our next crop! My sides need some time to stop hurting from my laughing so hard!


I think the main thing God has been working on with me is my service of my family with a cheerful heart! How I am learning that I can do lots for my family and still not be in line with His plan for me. I need to make sure my heart matches my intent to serve. If my daughters ask for help, do I do that with a joyful heart or do I give off the impression that they are bothering me? I really have to work on that when I am tired after a long day of dealing with sibling squabbles. I know God will continue to grow me in this area. I also know He is the one who has placed this desire in my heart and as long as I seek Him, I will get to where He desires me to be.



I have been struggling with the loss of my grandma and do not know where to really turn to get out what my heart is feeling. I feel the need to be strong for my daugthers who still talk about how they miss her and helping do her laundry. Yet I find myself thinking of her several times a day and just wishing I could go talk to her one more time. I miss those days we went to visit her and she would just sit and listen to what was happening in my life and encourage me to continue doing what I was doing. I miss that spark in her eye when I walked in the room and the big hugs when we would have to leave. I miss her standing by the door to be able to see me walk down the hall until she knew I was gone. I miss her giggle over silly things she would do or say. I miss her getting so excited over a cherry shake from Steak and Shake. I miss her getting frustrated over games we played while we sat with her or from the girls playing wrong. I miss her unconditional love of me and my family. I know she is with our Lord and Savior now and would never want her to return to the ailing body she had here again. Yet, there are days when this grand daughter returns to the precious memories of my gram over the years and pray that I can leave that legacy with my girls and their children. Until then I pray that God will continue to heal my heart and fill it with a service for Him. Wow!! I feel so much better! Isn't it amazing what getting it out can do for you? God is so good to remind me I had this site through my friends last night. I am blessed with great friends, good family and wonderful memories!