Heartsick

I have struggled the past few days in how to put into words my reaction to watching what has happened at Virginia Tech. Heartsick seems to be the best way to discribe where I am right now. It saddens me so much to think of what those children and teachers were put through while sitting in a classroom waiting to know if this madman was going to unleash his wrath on them. What must have been going through their minds at that moment! It is sad to me as well, that the young man who did this compares himself to that of my Jesus!

Jesus never hurt anyone. He never lashed out at innocent children and he certainly was never so selfish that he would have taken this step in his life to ease the pain of his torment. Jesus willingly layed himself out to be beaten, mocked and crucified so that we would no longer have to walk a life seperate from his Father. He showed the way to be humble and submit to God even to death. While that is certainly not a picture of what we saw in Virginia Tech, it is interesting to me that this young man sees them as the same. What happened to this young man to make him so bitter and full of hate? What would it take to cause his judgement to be so clouded that he thought this was the only way out and that he was doing it for other people? What must his parents be going through each morning they awaken and find the nightmare they were having is continuing? No different from the other parents who have lost their precious children except for the fact that their child caused the pain the others are feeling which I am guessing adds a new layer on their own pain.

My heart goes out to the other students who are now struggling to just feel normal again. I am sure they are having nightmares or flashbacks of this situation and the more it is plastered all over the tv I am sure they will continue to struggle with that. Seeing the picture of this young man yesterday really brought me to tears. I pray for his family to find peace in knowing that his actions are not a reflection of them, I pray for the families who have lost children, parents or siblings in this massacre to find a way to honor and celebrate their life instead of focusing on the horrible act that took it. I pray for the university president for I can't imagine a man under more pressure right now. I pray that he will find peace in seeing clearly what needs fixed and also what was out of his hands. I pray for revival on that campus. This was a horrible act and I can't imagine much good coming from it unless you know my God! He is so capable to turning this horrible act to end up being the marker of great things to follow! This campus has the ability to light up for Him by pulling together and hitting their knees in seeking His guidance. What a powerful picture. While I sit and watch to see what will come of all of this, I just pray that I never forget those who need prayers daily to carry them through each moment of each day until they are able to cast their burdens on Jesus. Pray for them to carry them to Him. pray for revival in that campus, in our country! That is the only source of comfort we can find.