Bittersweet Memories

Mother's Day brings up different emotions for me. I recall the first time I got a Mother's Day card. It was the year we had found out we were going to adopt. My mom and sister gave me a card that said I was "expecting". Words I so wanted to be true in the truest sense of the word. That never came to be for me and I know the joy I felt in expecting my baby via adoption. I wondered if I could love her as much as a child that came from my body. I worried that our family would not be able to love them as they did the other kids born earlier that year. I feared rejection. I feared a lot. Then God met me in the midst of that fear. He showed me how He met Hagar in that desert and filled her up with His love and gave her all she needed. I was suddenly at peace. No matter what I would be able to handle whatever God placed before me. That I was confident of. Then came the Mother's Day that I finally got to stand up and get the applause at church as a woman of great worth that day. Wow! My heart was so pouring over with love as a new mom, but it was also tearing apart for those I knew who wanted nothing more than to stand and claim they too were worthy yet their hands were still empty. Oh, how I never forget being one of the forgotten. I pray I never do. You see, Mother's Day can be quite the bittersweet day for many of us. While we want to honor those who raised us and to be blessed by our own children honoring us, there are those who long to do both and can't for various reasons. So, I guess I am asking God to place those people on my heart so that I can reach out to them and let them know they are worthy and to stand with pride for the gift they have been given in Christ.

A Memorable Vacation

This week's topic for So We Don't Forget is on a favorite vacation memory. Wow! I am very blessed to say that I have a lot to choose from in this category. However, one of my favorites would have to be the time the four of us went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for a long weekend. We did meet up with some dear friends for certain activities but most of the time, it was just the four of us. That is why this is my favorite memory for the day. We often take family vacations with one side or the other which is just great. However, this time was the first trip we took alone with just the four of us. Can you believe that?! Truly, not complaining at all about the group vacations because I ADORE them. I just thought this one stuck out because it was just the four of us doing so many fun things together.

We rented a cabin named "Beary Cozy" and it was!

The girls posing in our cozy cabin.

They loved that they had their own whirlpool tub!

Matt enjoyed the cabin as well.

We packed school up with us and did that with Doodle before we headed out for the day. I was amazed at how easy it was to do that while on vacation. Naturally, we did more "travel" themed ideas such as : using bear manipulatives for math since we were in the Smokey's! I tried to make it more fun. We also learned how to find Tennessee on the map. We learned about some of the cool facts about Dolly Parton as we visited Dollywood.

Upon entering Dollywood, Doodle started dancing to the music. I think she has some blue grass genes going! :) Loved it!

The posed shot...not the smiles I wanted but still sweet!

The girls loved riding rides.

They loved watching the different craftsmen at work.

Doodle riding a roller coaster with her Daddy!!

...that goes upside down!!!! Did I mention UPSIDE DOWN!!!

We also learned about the Civil War as we visited the Dixie Stampede one evening. That was a night to remember! The food was amazing but the girls eyes were priceless when they saw the horses show up right in front of them! We had so much fun stomping for our side to win. That was well worth the money. Lastly, we took the time to drive back to visit Cade's Cove. We did enjoy walking through history in that way.

Looking sweet on our way to Cade's Cove

At the Cade's Cove church

I have many memories of very cool vacations truly. I am thankful for that gift. I am also thankful we can enjoy times when we are with extended family. But truly, those moments when it is just the four of us are so peaceful and memorable in a way I can not put words to aptly beyond priceless. :) Love it!

Alone Time

This week for So We Don't Forget, Lynnette came up with a great idea to write about what is our favorite alone time activities. Wow! That really made me stop in my tracks. I don't have a lot of alone time and when I do, typically it is to accomplish a task at hand. However, I remembered that I do get that time during the school year when Matt takes the girls to Bible Study Fellowship on Monday nights. I also am blessed that my girls are good to give me that time when I really need it if I ask them and set the timer. :)

I adore having some quiet time each day but do not always get it at this time. I am very much a people person who needs quiet to refresh from the people! Does that make any sense?! haha! Truly I do love to be around a group of people and enjoy that time. When I leave, I need quiet. I really enjoy driving in the car with no music or music that reminds me to look around me as I drive at God's creation. Drive time for me is a great time to really think and pray though my family and friends situations.

Sunset at the lake house~ 2009

At home, I love to curl up in my bed for a nap for quiet time. Those naps do not always bring sleep but they always bring the quiet I desire. I pray during that time as well. I think about what needs to be done. I ponder things my kids ask me. I just lay there and let my mind run its course until either I sleep or the fact that I am not is evident and I get up.

I also love to read books when I have the free time to really dig in to one. I tend to read so many books with my girls for school that I don't find time to read for myself much right now. But when I get that kind of time, I love it.

I am a journaler. Is that a word. I love to write...kind of helpful for a blog, don't you think? I love to write in my prayer journals when I am alone. Turn on the music, or open the window so I can hear the birds chirping and just talk to God. Those journals have brought me through many of the tough situations in my life and through the even more joys. I cherish those and know that one day my girls will get to enjoy them as well. It will be a good reminder that we never stop growing in Christ and we are in constant need of His help throughout our lives.

Sunset at Panama City Beach~ 2009

Finally, when I get time alone my absolute favorite thing to do is to sit out on my back porch or take a walk in God's creation. I am a girl who definitely gets rejuvenated by God's creation. I need to hear the birds, I need to smell the flowers, I need to see the colors of splendor as I look around. The blues, greens, tans, yellows, oranges...etc.. all scream to me of a mighty creator who cares about details and wanted to make them pleasing to His children. That is so calming to me. I love it. If I can't sit outside or take a walk, sitting by the window in the winter is good enough. Just seeing the trees covered in snow is truly enough of a reminder of just who God is for me. If I could choose where to spend that quiet time, it would be by the ocean or sitting in the middle of a wooded forest, on top of a mountain, on the shore of a lake, any place I can look around and see God's handy work and be at peace. While those places are not really close to home, I find great comfort in just closing my eyes and getting lost in the sounds of nature. God is so good!

What could be more peaceful than seeing God's handiwork and knowing if He can make colors like that appear with His words, than why do I ever worry about what is going on in my life?! Great source of comfort.

Good bye Wednesday walks...Hello So We Don't Forget!

I have thoroughly enjoyed sharing some of my special moments and memories in my life with you through the Wednesday's Walk Down Memory Lane with my blog buddies at Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground. However, it is now taking a new turn and will become So We Don't Forget. Lynnette's reasoning behind changing the weekly meme is very wise:

"The goal with this weekly blogging activity has always been to document things you want to remember - things from years gone by to things you did yesterday! Details seem to quickly leave our minds, but if we write them down (or blog about them), we don't have to worry about remembering them!"

So with that change, I am starting a new weekly blogpost! This week's topic is school! We were encouraged to think about our school days, our child's school days, or homeschool days. Whatever we wanted to write about school. So since my last post on Wednesday's walk was on our decision to homeschool and was done late, I decided to repost that as my first post for So We Don't Forget! In case you are reading this, Lynnette, I like the change and look forward to reading what others write! :)

This past week my nieces and nephews are heading back to school. They are all excited but I get a bit sad when they go back as do my girls because that means we are back to not seeing them as much as we get to during the summer. This year, my youngest niece, "Fishy", starts full day kindergarten!! I can't believe it! Regardless, that got me to thinking back to when we started school with Doodle.

The decision to homeschool was a tough one for me. I came from a teaching background. I am a certified teacher as are my mom and sister. I have no qualms with knowing that there are very wonderful God-fearing teachers in every school. I do believe that because I lived it when I was teaching. I knew God can work in those schools. So if that is true, what lead me down the road to homeschool? That seems like a perfect question to answer in a Walk Down Memory Lane with my blogging buddy, Lynnette Kraft. ( or now a So We Don't Forget! post)

My girls and I at Park Mammoth Resort Doodle's first year of school.

When my nephew was in kindergarten, he still stayed with us for half a day. I loved watching him and finding out all about his day. What I did not enjoy seeing was the struggle he had once he started school. Now I will say right now that his learning style is not one that you go into a classroom, sit down, do your paperwork and be quiet. He is a kid who LOVES to ask questions, touch everything, and find out all he can know about that topic. Then he likes to tell you or anyone who will listen about what he learned. That style of learning does not make it as easy to succeed in a "typical" school setting. Now there are teachers out there that could and would make that work, but what I witnessed in his first two years of school was a bit shocking to me as an aunt but also as a mom of a little girl who learned very similarly.

Doodle's drama debut as a cow during a creative drama class. (fall 2005)

You see, over the years of watching him, I had encouraged he and Doodle to ask questions. I knew that the best way to become a lifelong learner is to ask questions and seek answers. That is great, but not for a typical classroom. I watched this little guys fun loving, carefree spirit for learning turn into something I can't put word to. Besides that, there was the issue of "fitting in" with the kids. He didn't fit in. He still doesn't for the most part and truly I know his parents don't want him to. Fitting in means being focused on self, material possessions and not caring for others who are less or have less than you. He has a heart for God and sees in others what other kids miss. For that he gets called names at times and that is very hurtful but it does not stop him. He also is able to share Jesus in school when he has the opportunity through various papers or speeches. Very cool!2005/2006 school year brought Bean into the mix more. In history we were learning about ziggurats and made them in the above picture. We also took time for service projects. We decorated pillow cases and filled them with school supplies, clothes, shoes and such for kids in Nepal.

Regardless, when I saw what had happened to him, I felt a strong conviction because I had felt that I had somehow encouraged this love of questions. (since then I know that is not true...he just is that way!:) My husband had always wanted me to homeschool. He is my biggest cheerleader and felt that my girls deserved the "best teacher" and that would be me. (his words not mine!) As flattering as that was to hear, I truly felt that choosing to do this would be saying I hated my profession which made me feel like a traitor! I felt such an inner turmoil.

February 2006, we went to Romania on our first family mission trip. Here we are in Budapest, Hungary before we returned home. Nothing like walking through history!!

We started praying about this choice when Doodle was only 4. I had no desire to take this journey. Why would anyone WANT to do this? Only those freaky people do this! Oh, the judgmental things I had going through my head at that point. God knew I needed to see the other side! :) After many prayers, we decided to take the plunge and see if we could make this happen. We attended the homeschool convention that spring before Doodle started kindergarten. I recall walking in that building with such an arrogance! I just thought since I had a teaching background I "knew" what to do. I just knew I had a heads up on these little homeschoolers! Haha!! I knew NOTHING!! God also has a way of humbling you in the areas we think most of ourselves, doesn't He! :) I am grateful for that.Perk of homeschool: school on the road. Matt had meetings in Nashville, so we took school and went along. Our motto for the week: "school then pool"! Great memories! Fall 2007

That first year was fairly easy for Doodle as she was already reading. We did school while Bean was napping in the afternoon, which allowed the girls to have their "normal" play time all day long. She was just excited to learn about all kinds of new things. I remember telling a friend of mine at the time that I didn't know how long we would do this. We would take one year at a time and see how it goes. That was almost 7 years ago now! That little girl is now going into 6th grade and her little sister is in 3rd. I can't imagine not being a part of their schooling now. Making a lemon battery. Spring 2009

God does have a sense of humor as well. I thought after finding stuff for Doodle that it would make it easier for her little sister...but that is not the case. We are still learning what is best for our kids learning styles. What works for Doodle normally will not work for Bean. I have experimented with LOTS of curriculum choices. I struggled to want to like what my friends used but I just didn't. Finally, I have found what works for us and we have been in a groove for the past couple years. I think it took us at least three years to fully get into some kind of plan that would set our kids on a path for success. We did not know what to expect. We were having fun with the freedom as well as just hanging out with our girls.

We love to do projects that coordinate with what we are learning. Guess what we are learning in the above picture? Spring 2009

One thing that has become a huge blessing in all of this has been the fact that I have learned that I love hanging out with my girls. I love their sense of humor and their hearts for learning. We get to work on heart issues as they arise no matter what else we are doing. We have the freedom to set math aside and deal with a heart of anger or selfishness when needed. That has been a great gift. I also am still learning as we go along! I love finding out things I may have studied but since forgotten. I thrive to teach them to be lifelong learners and to seek out answers for their questions. I am so thankful that I listened to my husband and did what he really wanted me to do even though at the time I could not picture me fitting in to this world of homeschoolers. God's plans are not always ones that make sense but they always make peace. :)

My girls and I at the beach this past Spring Break. What a joy to have so many fun memories. Obedience is such a blessing! Thank you, God, for giving us the joy you have through our journey.