Are You Speaking My Language?

Recently, my husband has taken over the office from his dad, who owned it for almost 50 years. This transition in our life has been a blessing but also has brought many new things to deal with and learn together. One thing I noticed right away is Matt brings more of the office home with him now. He wears it on his face...I know that sounds weird but I see his concerns in his eyes. He doesn't share all that is going on but I know he worries about keeping everything going and not "sinking the ship" so to speak. It is a lot to carry for a guy. So, as his loving family, the girls and I decided to be creative and celebrate him one evening. We cleaned up the house, made a nice dinner, put scripture on note cards around the house to help him remember what is true. We posted notes of encouragement around the house to remind him who loves him.  The girls drew on the driveway with sidewalk chalk, welcoming him home. They even posted a poster on the door with all the things they love about their daddy. All of that was great to do together with my girls.

 My sweet man looking relieved and too cute. :)

Upon his arrival home, he looked over the stuff, said thanks, gave the polite kisses and headed out to mow. I stopped him and was almost offended at his lack of response. When I questioned his response later, his words stuck with me...and he meant them with all the respect in the world..no disrespect at all, but he said, " I love what you guys did. It was great, but that is your love language, Janie. If you want to lessen my stress, mow the grass for me. That is a way you could show  your love to me right now." (which is what I asked him by the way..."how can we best show you we appreciate what you are doing and we love you")

Hmmm....most women and even I would have as a younger wife, would be angry at his response and his gentle reply. However, after almost 21 years of marriage, I was suddenly hit with that awareness that he was absolutely correct! I am very good at leaving notes around for him or calling/texting him what is going on or how we feel about him. That is because it is MY love language...words and touch.

He is a guy of service. His heart is to serve others. Any of his friends could attest to the fact if they need something done, Matt is their guy. He shows love to his family and friends  by doing things for them. He goes to get gas in my van when it is late at night so I won't have to. He picks up dinner when we have had a rough day and he knows I am wiped out. He takes the girls out and lets me have a couple hours of quiet when he sees that look in my eye each spring with homeschooling. He sends me out with my friends and takes over stuff at home when he knows I need to laugh. He will drive anywhere for anything to get whatever we need just because he loves us. So, when he is mowing the grass, doing yard work, folding laundry it is not just a task to check off the list for him. It is his way of displaying his love for us.

So, with that revelation, what did I do? I started mowing. And if you know me at all, you would know I HATE mowing. I only do it out of the pure dedication and love I have for my husband. And now with the lack of our riding mower....my love has a stronger chance to bubble up as I push the entire lawn. :) With every pass of the mower, I try to spend those moments praying for Matt. You know what, that makes it worth it. I still hate it but when I realize how blessed he feels in coming home to it being done and I see some of the weight off his shoulders right now...well, I am happy to do it. (And happy to teach the girls how to do it too)  Now I should say I am praying God shows up in a mighty way and fixes our riding mower though! LOL! Until then, you will see me walking back and forth. Don't be offended if you wave and I don't see you or you yell and I don't hear you. I will be praying for my man...and claiming every single thought to remember that while it feels like a chore to me, in his language it is pure love. :)

This is love to my sweet man...may not be my language but blessed to be able to speak his. :)