Thursday, May 21, 2009

Alone at last!

Much to my dismay, my girls now have their own bedrooms. We have spent the past couple weeks emptying out the play/school room and dividing up the clothes, shoes, toys into two rooms. Bean had the choice of the bigger room with bunk beds or the smaller room with Gaga Rachel's furniture. She chose Gaga Rachel's furniture. (she got to decide since Doodle has always had the bigger room)

I have to tell you that I dreaded this move. I shared a room with my sister all her life. I don't recall not sharing. I guess when I came home from college and my brother was gone I did have my own but before that we were always together. I feared that due to their age difference, if Doodle had the chance to shut her sister out, she would because they just were so different.

I prayed a lot about this move and I have cried a lot about it. I just felt like I was caving and letting the fighting dictate what was going to happen instead of stopping the fighting. What I found though is nothing worked. They just kept fighting. The fighting was starting to cause resentment and that is not what I wanted at all. So I guess in that sense, I did cave or submit to my husband's wisdom. He really felt that the problem was that the two of them were always together with no breaks from each other.

We have friends with large families and this is not a problem. Then I remember, if someone is needing a bit of space, the one who is getting on their nerves does have others to play with. For mine, they are each others playmates alone during the day. So, with that, we moved the stuff. I got rid of my grandma's love seat from my playroom, which was a bit difficult. We got the furniture from Gaga Rachel's apartment. Then we went to work at getting the rooms set up.
Bean's new bed and dresser.


Doodle's new set up of the bunkbed.

What I have found is peace. I have to admit when I am wrong and I was WRONG! The girls have been playing together beautifully. Doodle finds time to do things with and for Bean that she never did before. They also have times when I find them playing alone in their own rooms. The other night, I came around the corner to see this:
My girls cuddled up in bed reading a book together.

Now that may not seem a big deal to you, but trust me when I say, it is a small miracle. My girls love each other but they are truly complete opposites. God knew what the other would need when He chose these two to be sisters. But being together for all day versus going to school and just seeing each other at night really did make it hard for them to find a way to just enjoy each other. What I am seeing now is that Bean and I have some work to do in the training department as far as taking care of her things. :) Doodle had always done that for her and had grown to resent it. Now, Doodle is sitting on Bean's bed telling her what to do so they can go play together. This would not have happened before.

Then there is Doodle. She is a girl who needs her space from time to time. I am seeing her being able to take that time during the day while Bean plays in her own room and there is peace. No fighting over being too loud or stop touching my stuff...or whatever. I am so happy to say that obedience brings joy. :) I did not want to be submissive and I recall being a bit nasty in my thoughts of this move. I am here to say, I was wrong and I am thankful I have learned enough in 18 years of marriage to let my man be the head of this house even when I think he is dead wrong because sometimes God doesn't fill me in on all the joys until after I have obeyed. :) Love that!
Bean in her new bed.
Doodle in her "new" room.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

The rooms look great - and I LOVE this post. Praise God for the peace you are enjoying... Though our kids are younger - I too at times don't like to be wrong and don't want to change the "way things are" if they have at all worked in the past... I am also glad to know my kids aren't the only ones who fight at times. :-)

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