Do you ever go through times when you just feel kind of...well, kind of blah?! I have been struggling with that feeling for about a month or two. Couldn't really put my finger on what the problem was and yet I just did not have my normal zest for life. I would not say this was a true depression, but I understand how those who struggle with that in their life would need assistance other than family and friends.
I have had no desire to get up in the morning and start my tasks ahead of me. I have found it hard to allow myself to find joy in the every day things as I usually do. I have struggled to just smile. I just felt blah.
I have been told that it is because I am a mom and give so much of myself to my girls and husband and needed to take some time for me. I think that is a very normal response to this feeling. I must say, that approach did not work. Pushing them away made me feel worse. They gave me a couple days to just be still and alone with my thoughts. What did I think about? The fact I was missing out on all the fun they were having! So that did not work.
I certainly have not been blah all the time. I mean I giggle a lot. I love to laugh. So that is still true. I just didn't have the same oomph to handle my tasks at hand nor the desire to do it.
This week, my husband and I had a discussion that sent me to my knees in prayer. The topic is not what was important but what I found there on my knees would be. As I knelt and prayed, I found that my blahs were leaving. I cried tears of joy and some tears of sadness for situations out of my control. I realized that my blahs have nothing to do with what is going on in my home. What the blahs for me have been about is a direct relation to my pulling away from my heavenly Father. I stopped having that daily prayer time. I stopped digging in His Word for answers in handling the daily tasks. I started going through the motions. Sure we talked about God and what He expects in our home but I stopped meeting with Him daily.
I learned something valuable there on my knees. I can not do the jobs God has called me to do without Him. I am not capable to pull that off. I rely deeply on His guidance, love and wisdom in all areas of my life. When I choose to stop that daily meeting in order to get more sleep or do more jobs, I am choosing to step into the world of the blahs. I will say that while I feel better today, I know that this shifting back to my normal zest for life will be a process. I know what I need and I know how to get it. Now I just need to do it.
As I was reading today, God gave me this verse:
Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess. 5:16
Can you imagine?! I wept. He knew just the right thing I needed to read today so that I could find my way back. I am thankful for a loving heavenly Father who meets my every need. Do you need to have a meeting with Him today? He truly is my everything and He can be that for you too.
1 comment:
This was great and as I was reading I related it to my life at certain times and I knew what my issue was - and that was I had slowly spent less and less time in the Word and praying and having a personal relationship with Jesus. Then I read that that's what you felt it was for you too.
It's strange, because everything does seem to be fine in your life, but there is a big 'blah' there and it's hard to figure out why. But when we pull away from Him, our spirits become empty. Having gone through this before, it's the first place I check when I sense the 'blah blah blah' stages coming on!
I think many people can benefit from your post today. It doesn't take self help books, positive thinking, or 'me time'. Focusing too much on self can bring us into more of a depressive state. We aren't meant to focus on us - but others. So, if we spend time getting fueled and refueled with Him, then we will have more than enough supply within us to give to others!
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