With the recent ads for the movie, 50 shades of grey, I suddenly realized there really are so many things I want my girls to know about marriage, the marriage bed and what God created to be beautifully glorious. I don't want them to take hollywood's view of something so precious. So this is one of those posts that will one day bless my girls, but right now, they will cringe because I may have to resort to using the word they don't want to think about their parents enjoying...you know the one.
So here are a few things I want my girls to know:
1. Your body is a temple to be cherished and treated with respect, care and not to be treated as a token of lust or a one night stand. You are worth more than that. You are a jewel worth waiting for and anyone who tries to push his way on you does not deserve such a precious gift. A gentleman waits and respects you.
2. God created sex to be enjoyed, playful, exciting within boundaries of marriage. You are each other's playground so to speak. Enjoy each other and don't hesitate to talk about what works and what doesn't. Most of all, have fun! Don't make this area too serious or freak out over "doing it right". Just play and learn and laugh together.
3. Hollywood's view of marriage, sex and dating is fiercely tainted and watching movies that show this view makes you have a tainted view as well. Guard your heart from a let down in the real world by not watching things that are scandalous, portraying marriage as temporary, portraying sex as nothing more than a physical need met, portraying men or women as objects to lust after. Remember the song we sang when you were little...Be careful little eyes what you see. Oh be careful little eyes what you see....Well that song is still true today. It's not that God is judging you for watching things that are not honoring to him or to you. It is that God knows what it does to a marriage when a man chooses to view movies, computer screens, books or magazines that show women in lustful ways or when a woman watches movies, etc of men in provocative situations. If you watch those things, over time, you put those unrealistic expectations on your spouse. For women, it tends to be romance movies/books. But someone is telling that guy what to say! No one tells your husband what to say or do and he can never match up to the sweet ending that always occurs. It is only setting yourself up for disappointment. And if he's watching stuff that show women doing things that no normal woman can or will do, then he too is setting himself up for unrealistic expectations. So guard your hearts, eyes and minds sweet girls. Your marriage deserves that so much!
4. It takes time to get things going. When you are first married, it is terribly difficult to shift your brain from one day not doing what you are free to do on your wedding night. It takes time to shift fully into being able to enjoy the beautiful gift God created for a husband and a wife. Don't expect things to go perfectly on your wedding night...or even that first year. This is one area that as much as you may gag to hear, it gets better with time. You learn more about your spouse and things that just work for the two of you and it becomes a beautiful celebration of your love. This is not rocket science, but it is something that movies/tv make you think is easy and never awkward and always fulfilling. Trust me when I say that there are giggles, awkward moments and nerves and laughter galore! Mostly, there is love and as your love for each other changes from that newly married love to that love of years of walking side by side, growing closer to God and to each other, oh sweet girls, you are in for a treat! That's all I am going to say about that. (stop puking! LOL!)
There will be additions to this list as time goes on, I am sure. But for now, I'll stop there so you can take your breath. I want you to live a life in full color as God designed you to live. No shades of grey sweet girls. Live vibrantly and enjoy all God created from every single sunrise/sunset to the sweet music you and your spouse will one day make together. Don't settle for anything less! Ok, now you can gag.