The Perkins and Miller Girls
On June 25th, I received a phone call from a dear friend of mine, Kim, around 10pm. She was emotionless as she explained that her sweet husband had been in a terrible car accident earlier that day and she was on her way to Toledo, Ohio where he was lifelined to a hospital there. My heart sank once I realized she truly was serious. Her lack of emotion at that time made me think she was trying to pull a prank on me until I realized she was in shock. She was in wife mode...got to get there...not thinking about herself at all. I called a friend who would pray with me through the night for Derek and Kim. I sent emails to friends who knew them and asked for prayers. And then I waited....I read scripture...I prayed....I texted her to keep updated on what was happening. It became apparent to me very quickly that God wanted me to be by her side. So, the next morning, I asked my husband who naturally told me to go. So I called her and offered, she accepted and I left that day.
The next few days are so foggy in my mind. We spent hours in a waiting room with people we do not know. All of which were a part of this horrible "club" called ICU. The hopelessness in that room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I knew why God sent me. I was to share the hope we have in Christ and remind Kim to hold strong to that when she feels those waves of emotion rise...which they will...and they did. I do not know how to explain the feeling of watching a friend at death's door. I do not know how to explain the feeling of watching the wife of a friend at death's door. Truly, the experience has changed how I look at the relationships in my own home, with my siblings, other friends. I won't go into detail about what happened each day, as I truly can not recall what happened when. I will share some of the amazing God stories later in my blog as we continue to walk with these friends on the journey God has called them to take.
But one thing I know for sure is that nothing here on earth matters when you are sitting in that room waiting to hear if your husband will make it through the night. Nothing matters when you are waiting to figure out if your man will ever be the same...or will your girls ever have their daddy again. Nothing matters when you ache for the touch of his hand, the smell of his sweaty running clothes, the laugh that echoes the house. Nothing matters when you realize that God may be asking you to lay it all down for Him. The ache is real. The ache is deep. The ache permeates every cell in your body and your body fights it.
What I know matters at that moment is a faith that holds fast. A faith that remains firmly rooted in scripture. A faith that binds hearts together with the Almighty and bids Him to come reveal Himself to you as you deal with this new ache. A faith that God is not just going to show up but He will do as He promised and He will be found faithful. A faith that no matter how ugly the emotions, God will walk through this with you and send you those who will walk with you. God is truly showing me what it means to be a friend who loves unconditionally. A friend who digs in and gets dirty with emotional junk or whatever is needed. A friend who loves at all times...just like we are asked to be.
As I pray over this situation and see God's hand all over it, I stand amazed at the strength of my friend, Kim. In her, I see God's grace and mercy exhibited in human form. She stood beside her husband's bedside, reading scripture into his ear, talking to him consistently...beckoning him back to the family.She was a rock when she was with him. He held on to her every word. There were times of tears running down as she read scriptures to him or told stories about the girls. We saw a grimace of either laughter or crying at times. He connected to her on a spiritual level and fought to be back with this family.
Kim has been a role model for me as she walks this journey. She is not done. She is not perfect. She is angry at times. She gets upset at why this had to happen. But she is real. She lays it out before God and gives it all to Him.. She seeks comfort in Him alone. I felt we were living the Bible story of Moses and the Amalekites all over again. (Exodus 17) As long as Moses kept his arms up, they would defeat their enemy. So he kept them up but grew weary. When he was weary, his friends held his arms up to defeat that enemy. Truly, Kim held Derek's arms up when she was with him. She helped him defeat this injury and continues to do so. However, when she is away from him, it is our turn to hold her arms up to defeat the enemy and keep her fit for the next battle. I am honored to hold her arms up.
I pray for her to have the desires of her heart....her sweet husband back home in full capacity...to hold her, laugh with her, talk to her about life and be the daddy to those girls he adores. I want her to have her best friend at home and I pray God will give her the desires of her heart quicker than we ever dreamed. However, if that is not His Will, we will continue this walk beside our friends no matter where God leads us all.
This song was shared with me by a friend of Kim's.
Kind of perfect for what we are walking through.
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