When discussing my situation with my sweet friend, I poured over all that I felt God was leading our family to do right now...school choices, support friends, serve others, office, home, etc. As I laid more and more things on the table between us, she stopped me. Gently she asked me with all these things, what needs to be poured out so I can give all I need to with joy? What? She said to make two columns...one for things, people, events that fill me up spiritually, emotionally etc. Then the other was for things, people, events that drain me. What or who truly sucks the life right out of me? I had never considered that just because I like someone does not mean we make a good team as friends. I guess I always thought if our kids were the same age, did the same things, enjoyed playing...the adults would just figure it out. But she really challenged me to consider that there are people who pour into your life and make it richer. Those are the people we need during this time of transition with the office, school, home etc. And we need to be those people to others. We can not pour into others lives when we have so many "straws" in our own life sucking it dry, whether that be activities or people.
I knew to adjust the activity load but I had not considered the people. So it has me thinking....where do you run for comfort? Calm in a storm? My first place is straight to God, but then it is my husband, closest friends and family. Beyond that, I must ask myself are the casual relationships I have pouring into my life or draining me? If they are not adding joy and calm to my crazy life, this season may be about learning to set healthy boundaries with my time, friendships and talents...no matter how hard that may be! That does not come easy to me. I like people! I like having fun and giggling with whoever is around but that does not mean I need to bring their drama etc into my already full plate. I see the wisdom of this and am trying to figure out what does drain me most and where do I turn in those moments. I also find myself trying to figure out if I am that person who is draining others...and if so, how can I adjust my actions, words to not be that for them. I have to admit that I had never thought of going through my relationships in this way. I just love on them all and deal with what it brings I guess. But now I see the fruit of these words. I see I am more calm. I am at peace. I find joy in all I am doing because those I have surrounding me on a daily/weekly basis are people that truly pour into my life and vice versa. What a great gift at a perfect time of craziness.
