Through the Eyes of a Child

Have I mentioned that I love Wednesday's Walk Down Memory Lane!?! I have tried to come up with the perfect thing to write about for two weeks. I have decided that there is no perfect thing just sweet memories. As I have written about my honey, girlies, parents, siblings, and Gram in the past, I felt it was time to share my sweet memories of my Grandpa Milich this time. Those are tender memories as he was only with me for ten short years, but his love lived beyond those years for sure.

My grandpa was a big man. He had huge hands, well, at least my brother and I remember them being quite large. Mom says they were about the size of my brother's are now, but we know that can't be right! (isn't it funny the way a child's mind works?!) Anyway, one of my favorite memories of my grandpa was how he made me feel. I loved it when he showed up. He would grab me and put me on his lap. I would sit up there feeling so special. He would nibble ears and noses as grandpas do. He loved us so much. He use to love listening to music and I loved listening to his music with him. I still enjoy having his songs take me back to a time sitting with him in his living room. I loved being allowed to go visit his workshop in the basement. Simple treasures were found there for sure.

My favorite times visiting my grandpa were when I got to enjoy breakfast with him. Oh the joys of being a grandchild! He use to eat Cocoa Krispies and Fruit Loops together! Guess what that meant?! That is right! We got to have it too! Yummy! I can not imagine letting my girls start the day off with that but as a kid, I loved it! What is really funny to my brother and I now, the bowl he use to eat his cereal combo in was the smallest of the mixing bowls from Gram's set. We remember it being huge! Again, the eyes of a child are a bit tainted. After my Gram passed away, Mom gave my brother that bowl. We both looked at it in shock! It was not that big at all!

I also remember him letting me take a sip of his beloved Pepsi. Oh how the bubbles tickled my nose and he would giggle. He ate some things that really make you wonder as well. Coming from a poorer time in our nation, he let nothing go to waste. So if the olives had mold on top, scoop off the mold and eat 'em! No thank you!

Most of all, to him, I was his "Blonde Princess". He also sang this song to me, "Blue eyes...my baby's got blue eyes." I don't know who sings that to this day but every once in a while, I can hear him singing that to me and I smile. You see, as his precious Blonde Princess, no matter where I go in life, he has gone with me. When we were married, we thought of him and how much he would have loved Matt's sense of humor. When we adopted our girls, I knew he would have loved having the chance to nibble ears and noses once again. With each grandchild that arrived, we thought of all he use to do for us and even more, how he made us feel. With the passing of my Gram in recent years, I have found myself thinking of the two of them more and more. What a joy to have memories that live on and on. I love sharing stories about all my grandparents with my girls and I pray they will continue to pass on the strong legacy of Christian men and women in their life as well. One of the greatest treasures I have now are the books both he and Gram gave me over the years. They always wrote inside them and I have those sweet words forever....To my Blonde Princess....Love, Grandpa and Grandma. Silly how one simple line can take a grown woman back 30 years to a time where she was someone's little girl. That is the power of the mind and the reason I love walking down memory lane.

Spring Break Shots Finally! :)

As I told you in an earlier post, my parents took all of the family down to Panama City Beach, Florida for spring break again this year. We really had a great time. While there, Mom set up a time for a photographer to take our pictures at sunset. Dad graciously got us all cd's so we can use the pictures as much as we like. Sweet! So I thought I should share some of the pictures with you. They turned out great and there were way too many to pick my favorites. Enjoy!

Where the story begins...my sweet parents. :)

My parents, brother and sister.

My parents with all 8 grandkids.

All 8 grandkids.

My sister's family and her kids below. Sweet!

My brother's family and his girls below.

My family and my girls below. Love these pictures!

Me and my honey!

The entire family. What a legacy!

Thanks Mom and Dad for a great trip and more importantly for great memories.

My Lesson Learned

Funny thing happened as I sat through a seminar on "Empowering the Shy Child"....I realized that I still have shy tendencies myself! I use to be more bashful than I am now. I really came out of my shell in college and even more so after I got married. I remember as a kid, how frightened or fearful I felt walking in to a room of new people. I was not like my Dad or siblings who knew no strangers. I took after Mom who was more apprehensive with new situations and a bit guarded. While she taught me to step out, being at the conference alone last weekend, staying in a hotel alone as well, really brought back some of those feelings. It was eye opening to me as I sat there listening to this women ( so can't remember her name but will look it up!!!) speak on the shy child in my life, my Bean.

Beanie has always been painfully shy. At times, we struggled with knowing when to "force" her to do something or speak and when to just let it go. We made decisions along the road to where we are now at age 9 that I feel have worked for our family. She is less "painfully" shy and now would be more like her momma who struggles with it from time to time. We taught her to speak when spoken to. We never forced her to speak first unless she felt comfortable. We told her to remember that when she is not speaking because she feels weird to think of the other person instead. That is what God would want us to do....think of others before ourselves. We did make her speak to family no matter what. No excuse for not being able to thank grandparents or show them what you did at school. Being shy was no excuse to not being polite. Finally, we pray with her before we go into new situations if she feels nervous and we give her lots of opportunities to spread her wings. The result...our girl is soaring. She still has room to grow, but I am so proud of her. This year, she seems to have really gotten comfortable in her own skin enough to have a speaking part in a musical at church and then also speak in front of a large group at our Father's breakfast for co-op. She has managed to speak in front of her class at co-op as well. These are all huge! With all that in mind, I walked into this seminar and found out, we did ok. :) (always good to know!)

Her tips:
1. Talk to your child about the way God created them and tell them all the positives you see in them. Don't make shyness a disease but part of a who they are that needs work. We all have areas that need work, for them this is one.

2. Regularly share what you see with them. The more you talk about the positives and how much growth you see in their area of struggle, the more they will step out.

3. Watch your "language"~ Don't find yourself saying she "has a problem" with shyness or such.

4. Cement the image of being used as a vessel by God.
I loved this idea...she drew a huge ancient pot and cut it out. She hung it on the wall and then she and her child would write words on this pot that describe all the positive things you or they see in them. Anytime they are believing satan's lies, look at that pot and remember God is going to use them in some way to bring glory to Him. Amazing way to cast out lies!

5. Tie rewards to courage~ again love this!
Anytime someone in their family displayed a wonderful act of courage, which would be stepping out in faith in an area they struggle, celebrate! This goes for all kids not just the shy ones. What a great way to show our kids there are benefits for "doing hard thing" and it is worth the effort to step out in faith. I love it.

I am pleased to see that we have done some of these steps with Bean. I was also pleased to see that her tips were peaceful and gentle. Sometimes, being the parent of a shy child, I have been given some pretty harsh ideas from others trying to "fix" my daughter. I was blessed to hear...she doesn't need fixed! She is not broken. God made her the way she is for a reason. She has a tender heart and it will shine for Him the more she chooses courage over comfort. I just hope I remember to reward those times every single time. As a shy child, who still works through that at times, I left this seminar with a tear trickling down my cheek...finally, I am not weird either...ok, well at least not for this reason! :) God made both of us the way we are, now I can show my girl how to live out the courage I am asking her to do....what a gift.

What's the big deal in one word?

As I told you earlier this week, I attended the Midwest Homeschool Convention in Cincy last weekend. I also warned ya...I was challenged quite a bit and would be writing about some of the things I learned in days/weeks to come. :) Flee now if you can't take anymore! :)

This time, I want to mention something that was said in a talk about parenting the strong willed child. The speaker was John Rosemond. (my mom's favorite) So I went to see what all he had to say and to let Mom know how he did in this setting being that he is not known as a homeschool speaker. I was intrigued. He did not disappoint in this talk.

I sat through the first few minutes truly wondering when he was going to jump into some helpful tips I could take home. It did not take long before I figured out this was no ordinary seminar and while the title might have been about the kids, it was really more about me and the way I think.

One main point he brought up was the fact that in the 50's, women who stayed home to raise their children were called "housewives". Today in America, women who do the same are called "stay at home moms". What's the big deal with that...you might think. Well, in God's eyes, that is a huge deal. You see, we have managed to take the focus off the marriage and totally on the kids. When dads came home in the 50's they went to see their wives first to see what the day had in store for him. Now, they come in and play with the kids and leave talking to their wife til the end of the day. Now, I am not anti-dad time nor am I anti-stay at home mom. I am one!!! However, if for one minute, my kids think they come before their dad, well, I haven't done my job well. For I know from example in my childhood home that the best gift a dad can give their child is to love their mom. My dad was a quite man and seldom did he raise his voice. One way to get him to do so would be to speak disrespectfully to my mom. At that moment, she was not "mom" but "my wife". I remember Dad telling me in the car one night, "Don't talk to my wife that way again.". End of story. Now, my dad does not remember saying this at all. Which I think is the beauty of it all. When we place the marriage first, we are team for our kids and they know it. They know they can't play games against one parent or vice versa. I was challenged to make sure my kids know that the marriage comes first. Something I think a lot of us could remember.

Oh, and if you wondered what he said about parenting the strong willed child...well he saved that for the last five minutes. Bottom line, we all are strong willed, if we weren't we wouldn't need Jesus! Loved it! The only difference between a child and an adult is that adults have learned how to be diplomatic about not getting their way. Kids need to be taught how to do that. How do we do that? He referenced the sermon on the Mount when Jesus said, " Let your yes be yes and your no be no." Hmm....seems so simple. But it is so true! He also challenged us to talk to our great-grandparents and grandparents to see how they raised kids and do it just like them. He said America has spent too much time listening to "experts" like him and they need to listen to wisdom. Point made....so what am I going to do about it? Simple, I want to make sure I am not being wishy washy with my discipline. I need to make sure the girls know what Daddy says, I support and vice versa. I need to make sure that above all, God's truths are seeping into every aspect of our home and teaching the girls how to become more diplomatic in not getting their way. Use the teachable moments and lean on God! Sounds doable to me! :)

Do You Know What You Believe?

This weekend I was blessed to attend the Midwest Homeschool Convention in Cincinnati, Ohio. It was over the top phenomenal! If you homeschool or are considering it in the future, you need to attend this conference. When I left, my brain was on overload from all the great information I gathered on all sorts of topics! I am sure there will be many posts about what I learned and what I am trying to do to make our school the best it can be for our girls to get the best possible education we can give them.

With that in mind, let me share some insights from the first speaker I heard, John Stonestreet from Summit Ministries. His talk was titled," Why students walk away from their faith and what we can do about it." That was a title that jumped off the page and struck me in the face. I don't know about you, but the thought of my girls choosing to not follow Jesus one day really makes my heart sick. With great anticipation,I sat in his seminar and was blessed beyond words.

I think something that I had not wrapped my brain around before was the fact that our job as parents is to prepare our kids to enter a world of evil, danger and suffering when they leave our home. I never thought of it that way. While we may be able to protect them from some things, when they leave our "nest" it is not a nice, sweet package out there. They will face crimes that make them questions their faith, natural disasters, evil in ways I can't even imagine. We have to have raised them well enough in their faith to face these things with strength and confidence in who is in control and whose they are.

One of the stats he gave was also startling...1/3- 1/2 of students who enter college claim t hey are Christian claim they are not when they leave. Look at that number! 1/2 to 1/3!!! That is a lot of kids and those could be ours! What are we doing to teach them not just what we believe but why and how to defend that faith so that they can stand up under those attacks at college level?

Why is this mass exodus of faith occurring? Mr. Stonestreet gave some logical reasons:

1. They don't know who to trust.
(they live in an age of information. They can hear facts and opinions from multitudes of people at the click of a mouse. They need to hear truth to be able to discern the information they have seeping in their minds. With this in mind, now more than ever before, the trustworthiness of authorities is of upmost importance. They do not need perfect parents but redemption acted out before them to see how to seek God when they sin. )

2. They don't know how to think.
(We need to teach our kids TO think, not just WHAT to think. They are not able to defend their faith.)


3. They don't know who they are.
( We are what we worship. In America it is stuff. We love stuff because it is of value to us and looks good. We then treat people the same way. Wrong! Teach the kids that if we want to know who we are, we need to get to know who God is then we learn how to treat people. Kids need to learn what it means to be a man or woman. We have a generation of "grown ups' that are stuck in the teen-age mentality.)

4. They don't "get" Christianity.
(They don't understand what they believe to be able to defend it. They think "God wants me to be good, happy and will be there for me without anything in return from me": this goes against scripture. They need to know what they believe and how to defend it.)

So if that is all true, what needs to be done?
We need to make sure our students have:
1. A worldview big enough for the world.
2. A community offering vision oriented around that world view.
3. mentors who embody the worldview being taught.

Seems so simple yet it is such a mighty task. I am overwhelmed yet empowered. I have purchased the apologetic study for the girls to go through next school year with us as a family. We will continue to teach that type study throughout their schooling. I am amazed at how many adults can't answer some of the questions that I have been working through in this book marked for ages 6-12. I am humbled and so excited that God placed me in this session. What a treasure of information.

Walk Down Memory Lane Returns!

When I first started blogging again, I loved the venue that Lynnette had given me to write about special memories using her meme named, Walk Down Memory Lane. When she chose to stop that Wednesday meme, I fully understood but was so sad. I loved it! Luckily, another blog buddy, Jenilee, has decided to pick it up and so we have the return of Wednesday's Walk! Yeah!

The hardest part of writing for Wednesday's Walk is always deciding what to write about this week. Luckily, that was not so tough for me this time since we just returned from a vacation. As I stated in an earlier post, this trip is our forth to the same area with my entire family. It is amazing to me how much my girls have changed in that four year. When we first went, Doodle was 8 and Bean was 5. They look so little standing next to the ocean. That picture is the title picture on my blog. I love it. Each year, I am sure to at least attempt that same shot. So I think it seems fitting to take note of how much these two have grown in these four years.

Year One: standing by the ocean, holding a doll. They look so tiny and sweet! This was not a posed shot...they just were going to say good bye to the ocean like we always do and I saw them standing there. I did not realize how much this picture would speak to me years later.

Year Two: It was a bit rainy and cool, but we still went to say good bye to the ocean and try to pose. It was just so windy! What I see in this picture....braids! Love those braids! I also love the way Doodle is turned to check on her sister. Obviously, this was not posed either. :)

Year Three: the girls are starting to really become friends and while I did ask them to stand by the ocean, I did not tell them to put their arms around each other. So this is one of my favorite shots, yet I see them looking way too old!! This was the year I started noticing how much my girls are growing up and just how quickly time flies by. It doesn't feel like that long ago I was changing diapers, but it is! Enjoy each moment, ladies!Year Four: I still see that they are little next to the ocean but when I compare it to the first, my heart is in shock! These are young ladies not my babies any longer. I see them growing to become the strong young women God has them to be. I see them learning to worship their Jesus on their own and it makes my heart soar! So while I do miss those toothless smiles some days, what I get to witness now is the shaping of young women and I see God's hand on these girls. I wouldn't trade it for a second but I also cherish those early years...standing by the ocean, holding a doll. How quickly that changes. Here are two more shots that really speak to how quickly time is flying and reminds me to enjoy each moment while I get the honor of having these girls in my care. Such joy!
The girls enjoy Boogie Boarding every year....above shot is this year while the below shot is our first year. Gee, do you see any changes? LOL! Love it!

Bottom line, while I remember feeling overwhelmed at times with the task before me as a homeschool mom of an 8 and 5 year old, today I can say without a doubt that those days fly by and then you are standing next to two precious young ladies who are quite independent. It has only been four short years and I see that happening already. I can only imagine what the next four will display. I am eager to see it but so enjoying each day God gives me to be home with them, helping to shape them into the young women He has planned. Have I mentioned lately that I love my job?!

Time for a Break!

Last week, my entire family went to Panama City Beach , Florida together. The past four years, my parents have gifted us this trip for Christmas. They take care of our accommodations and we all just need to get there and pay for food. It is the best gift! I was in great need of a boost and I think God knew just what I needed. Each morning I was met with beautiful sunrises and each evening He displayed gorgeous sunsets. They always amaze me and I stand there watching til the last sliver of the sun is gone. Between those two grand displays, we spent a lot of time hanging out on the beach watching cousins play, talking to my siblings and parents.

The yearly line-up...love it! All 8 cousins in order.

It was a sweet time of refreshment. It was also a great reminder to me that I need to take a time of refreshment more often. Maybe not to the beach all the time, but a time to sit at the feet of Jesus and really let Him minister to me through that time together. I think I had gotten so mechanical in the running of our home, that my quiet times had also become the same. That is not the relationship I desire to have with my Jesus and I must say, standing beside the ocean each day and walking along it each night revives my soul. My sweet parents on one of the night walks. Love that they still enjoy each other so much.

I just stood there knowing that if in all the wonder of creation, God spoke this vast ocean in to existence, than He will take care of me. Why do I fret? Why do I fear? God is in control and I am so not. This week, I am a new woman. I feel refreshed, rested and ready to tackle all that comes my way. Most of all, I am grateful for the time spent with family and my precious Savior.

My new screensaver and reminder to sit back and relax with my Jesus....He's waiting!